Thedewsperspective

I met Tank before he became a superstar.  He was introduced to me by a young man I hold in high regard.  Tank’s best friend.  They visited my classroom. We talked.  And we laughed.  I told Tank then that I pray all his dreams come to fruition.  I understood the manifestation of his dreams would give young men like him aspiration to dream.  I knew that he wouldn’t just influence the people closest to him.  But he’d also influence other young people, throughout our city, from similar beginnings.  You see, I’m convinced that our youth have to see things to believe things.  And what’s more convincing than the story of Tank?

I’ve followed his career from afar.  I’ve traveled to support his boxing matches.  I’ve argued with my brother, defending Tank against any opponent.  I won’t proclaim to be an expert of the combat sport.  I don’t know all of the technical approaches to boxing.  I’m just a fan of Tank’s.  Because, to me, Tank symbolizes something greater than boxing.  He exemplifies what it takes to make it.  And he’s confirmation that dreams are attainable.  That’s why I cheer for Tank.

Recently his mugshot was plastered across the media.  Apparently he was arrested for physically assaulting the mother of two of his three children.  Unfortunately, this is not the first time he’s been accused of such disgraceful acts.  By no means is it ever acceptable for a man to physically assault a woman.  There’s no way I can condone the behavior.  When I heard the news I was disappointed.  It was reported that the confrontation occurred on Father’s Day 2025, and in the presence of his children.  He wasn’t arrested immediately following the incident.  A warrant was issued and he was arrested in Miami, almost one month later.  Once he was released on bail, he was escorted to his truck by deputies.  He covered his face in shame as he shuffled his feet to the vehicle.

You’d think after enduring all Tank had to endure to become who he has become, he’d do better.  We tend to think that money, riches and fame would alleviate all the darkness.  Quite contrary.  Money, riches and fame seems to exacerbate the darkness.  Tank is a phenomenal talent in the boxing ring.  But it’s apparent that he’s dealing with something grave.  I recall a few months back he shared that he was contemplating retiring from the sport.  He acknowledged that he wanted to step away from boxing to be a different type of man to raise his children.  As a father of two daughters, I commended him on that decision.  He seemed to have it figured out. 

Recently I wrote an editorial entitled Suffering In Silence, Revealed (somewhat).  Most people whom I shared it with thought it was written in first person.  They thought I was talking solely about myself.  Friends contacted me and offered support.  They encouraged me that I didn’t have to suffer in silence.  I could always reach out to them and share.  But I was writing from the perspective of men.  Men who don’t always know how to articulate their emotions.  Men who’ve been taught to not share their emotions.  I was speaking about men who have been taught to suppress their emotions.  Men who self-medicate to avoid dealing with their emotions.  I was talking about men who refuse therapy because culturally we’ve been made to believe it’s weak to see a therapist.  Yes, I was talking about myself.  But I was also talking about so many other men as well.

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.  When I look into Tank eyes, I see something.  I won’t profess to know what it is, but it’s something there.  I’m certain it’s hard to escape your nightmares.  Survivors’ remorse is real.  How many support him and not depend on being financially supported by him?  Who can he trust?  How does he release the feelings he’s suppressed for so many years?  When was the last time he cried?  How difficult is it for him to maintain all he as amassed?  Who’s helping him maintain his empire?  Is he in therapy?  Is he in love?  Does he have a safe space where he can just be himself? 

This isn’t an op-ed supporting and condoning domestic violence.  No.  This is a piece about a young man I was introduced to before the stardom.  Someone who finds himself in a position, that I’m sure he could not even fathom as a child.  His real life may have superseded the life he dreamed for himself.  How could he have prepared for that?  I believe him to be a man of faith.  I strongly encourage him to lean on his faith.  Study the word, pray and apply the word to your life Tank.  Be the example for your children that you hoped for as a child.  Apologize to the mother’s of your children.  Ask them for forgiveness.  Apologize to your children.  Reconcile your relationships.  And get whatever help and support you need.  So, you can truly enjoy the life that you’ve created for yourself.  I pray you receive this message.  And understand these are words of love young brother.  Sincerely.  Mr. Dews